Alternative Approaches and Final Recommendations EFT Part 6

Alternative Approaches and Final Recommendations

Choices Alternative

Dr. Patricia Carrington has made a major innovation to EFT with her choices option.
Unlike the traditional affirmations mentioned above, choices do not contradict a person's present view of reality and so are much more easily accepted. Additionally, the represent a proactive stance and a commitment to one's self.
When using the choices option a self-acceptance affirmation is substituted for the traditional EFT affirmation used above. In general this affirmation is the opposite of whatever the negative statement contained in the first portion of the Set-Up phrase.
This choice is an expression of what the person truly desires for the problem that the treatment is presently addressing. It is aimed at that specific problem rather than being a general affirmation.

Choices Technique

Identify the negative emotion or state (thought, attitude, feeling, pain, etc) that you want to be rid of.
Formulate a choice that is roughly the opposite of this negative emotion or state.
Combine the negative emotion with the positive choice.
State the entire Basic recipe combination (negative emotion and choice) on the first three meridian points.
Then alternate the points by stating the negative reminder phrase on one point and then the positive choice or reminder choice on the next point.
Be careful to always end on a positive choice.

Wording of Choices

Most people do not know how to identify what they really want. Ironically, however the, they are almost always very clear about what they don't want.
When asked to make a positive choice, which is based on what they do want, most people will at best, just choose to improve a bit on what they don't like. One way they do this is to revert to comparisons.
They will use such words as better or more.
Examples include:

• I choose to be more confident.
• I chose to feel better.

This does not work well because a person's subconscious, computer-like mind is quite literal and it cannot interpret that statement with any precision. What is better? It could be only a tiny bit better. How much is more? When this is not spelled out precisely you have an unclear choice that will not be very effective.

First Rule of Choices: Be Specific

A person making a choice needs to state precisely what it is they want. A choice should not contain vague comparison words such as "better," but should be a statement of exactly what they really want to create in their life.

Second Rule of Choices: Create a Pulling Choice

Choices must "pull" to be effective. This requirement is often neglected. A choice that is lifeless is like a dull ad; you just skip over it, don't attend to it, and it has very little impact on your life.
You might think of a choice as a sort of ad made up by you and directed to yourself as a consumer. The person who must be sold is you. You have to buy into and truly want the manifestation you are trying to bring about.
Whenever possible seek to carefully add an adjective or adjectives to make the choice as appealing as possible. The aim is to draw you like a magnet toward the goal they seek. Repeating the choice during the EFT session should be a source of real pleasure and comfort so that you really want to keep saying the choice over and over simply because it is so enjoyable to do so.
Examples:

• Let it be easy to ...
• Surprise myself by ...
• Find a creative way to ...
• Find it fun to ...

Alternatively you can add any of these adjectives to give it more appeal:

• Comfortable
• Satisfying
• Delightful
• Ingenious
• Safe
• Unexpected

Third Rule of Choices: Go for the Best Possible Outcome

The rule of thumb here is to be inwardly "truthful" in what is asked for. You need to choose what you really want in your innermost self, not what you think you should want - and it should be the very best you can imagine having.
Examples:
It is not enough to chose to have a "new apartment," because a "new apartment" might be a dingy 6th story walk-up with poor heating, tiny rooms, etc. Yet technically it might be "new" for you. A much more effective choice would be to state exactly what you really want, such as "I choose to live in a quiet, sunny, delightful apartment.
The more positive and specific you are the better the choice will be.

Fourth Rule of Choices: State Your Choice in the Positive

Those who have worked with affirmations know that the literalness of the computer-mind makes negative words or phrases a large problem. Our mind tends to ignore the negative and we get exactly what we were hoping to avoid.
We are always better off being as positive as we can when framing any sort of command to ourselves - and affirmations are basically commands.
When making a choice therefore you should avoid using such negative words and phrases as:

• No
• Not
• Never
• Don't
• Be Rid of

For Example:

• Poor Way: I want to be rid of my headache.
• Better Way: I choose to feel clear headed, healthy, focused and enthusiastic.

Fifth Rule of Choices: Do Not Choose for Others

This rule is important to emphasize because some people will choose other's behavior as though they had control over other people, which none of us have.
For Example:

• I choose to have Mary love me.
• I choose to have the people at work think I'm the best.
• I choose to have Ken understand me.

There are many ways that the above incorrectly worded choices can be reworded so as to be non-manipulative an ethical in nature.
Preferred:
I choose to feel that Mary loves me. Here the person is making a choice about their own reaction to Mary, something quite within their control.
The details are less important than the intent when applying this rule. The point here is not to act as though we were all-powerful in another person's life, but rather word the choice so as to be as genuinely helpful to them as possible without imposing your values on them.

Psychological Reversals

The most common reason that psychological reversal does not change is that the affirmation was not said strongly enough or with enough emphasis. Most people will quietly state the affirmation I have frequently seen that it was necessary for the client to nearly shout the statements prior to the reversal shifting.

Criteria Related Reversals

These are subconscious mechanisms that may be in place and blocking the client's ability to successfully resolve their reversal:

• Deservedness

  This is the most commonly seen of the criteria-related reversals. Common sense dictates that if a person consciously or unconsciously holds the position that he or she does not deserve o get over a problem, attempts to alleviate the problem will be met with considerable resistance. This reversal is common among trauma survivor, patients, with eating disorders, and those who have violated closely help personal values and morals.

• Safety

  If the client experiences the problem as affording some level of safety, it will not easily be resolved. This consideration does not necessarily apply to situations that are truly unsafe or dangerous. This reversal is common among clients with anxiety-related conditions and even clients suffering from chronic pain.

• Possibility/Doubt

  Some clients experience deep doubt about their ability to resolve the presenting problem, for whatever reasons. While doubt by itself does not signal a reversal, if it is deep enough it will be consistent with a reversal.

• Permission

  In many instances this operates in conjunction with another, such as safety or deservedness. It is as if the energy system is saying, "I won't allow myself to get over this problem because it isn't safe to get over it" or "I won't allow myself to over this problem because I don't deserve to get over it."

• Deprivation

  Especially in the treatment of addictions, the issue of deprivation may serve to block progress. When this type of reversal is diagnosed, a discussion around this issue is appropriate.

What to Do When You Are Not Getting Results

Negative beliefs may interfere with EFT, or any energy treatment from working very effectively.
Some of the more common ones that might need to be treated include:

• I don't believe these treatments will work.
• I believe EFT works, but not for me.
• I doubt that EFT will work.
• Even if EFT does work, I am afraid it won't last.
• I don't trust myself to stay free of these problems from now on.
• I am afraid that these treatments won't work.
• I am afraid that the problem will come back.
• Here are common dynamics that show up as treatable problems. One needs to be alert to these.
• I'm afraid to give up my hopelessness, helplessness, fear, dependency, etc.
• I doubt it will happen.
• I'm supposed to be rejected.
• I don't trust myself to live it out.
• I'm supposed to be disapproved of.
• I don't feel safe with ... (whatever the situation is)
• I have to be perfect about everything.
• I fear something like this problem will happen again.
• I doubt that I will really be able to do this.

Relationship Problems

The following list is an extensive, but certainly not exhaustive, compilation of thoughts, attitudes, beliefs and emotions that are often problems, especially in relationships.
The bolded words are common when dealing with issues of loss such as the death of a loved one. These items can appear in a variety of situations. A person may have the feeling toward someone else as well as toward themselves, feeling rejected or disgusted and feeling disgusted and rejecting toward the rejecter at the same time.

• Abandoned
• Afraid
• Agony
• Alone
• Angry
• Anxious
• Apprehensive
• Ashamed
• At a loss
• Betrayed
• Blame
• Bored
• Burdened
• Cheated
• Concerned
• Confused
• Cornered
• Crazy
• Crushed
• Deep Sadness
• Deep Sorrow
• Defeated
• Dejected
• Depressed
• Despair
• Despondent
• Devastated
• Disappointed
• Discouraged
• Disgusted
• Dismay
• Disoriented
• Doubt
• Dread
• Embarrassed
• Emptiness
• Empty
• Enraged
• Exhausted
• Fatigued
• Fearful
• Hapless
• Heartache
• Heartbroken
• Heartsick
• Heaviness
• Helpless
• Horrified
• Horror
• Humiliated
• Hurt
• Inadequate
• Indignant
• Insecure
• Invalidated
• Lazy
• Lethargic
• Lonely
• Loss
• Lost
• Mad
• Melancholy
• Mortified
• Offended
• Outraged
• Overwhelmed
• Persecuted
• Pressured
• Punished
• Put down
• Put upon
• Rage
• Rebellious
• Rejected
• Rejecting
• Resentment
• Sadness
• Scared
• Scorn
• Self-conscious
• Shame
• Shattered
• Silly
• Sorrow
• Suffering
• Suspicious
• Terror
• Tired
• Tortured
• Trapped
• Traumatized
• Uncertain
• Untrusting
• Vulnerable
• Wary
• Wasted
• Worn out
• Worried

Tearless Trauma Technique

1. Identify a specific traumatic incident from their past. Ideally it should be at least 3 years ago to minimize any complications from the dynamics of a current event. An example might be, "the time my father punched me when I was 12." By contrast, the phrase "my father abused me" would be too broad because, chances are, the abuse took place over many, many incidents.
   Please stay on your original issue because it will be easy to shift to other issues as you resolve the original one.
2. GUESS at what your emotional intensity would be (on a 0-10 scale) IF you were to vividly imagine the incident. DO NOT to actually imagine it (although some will close their eyes and do this anyway). This GUESS is a surprisingly useful estimate... and... it serves to minimize emotional pain. Write your GUESSES down.
3. Develop a phrase to use for the EFT process such as "this father-punch emotion" and then proceed with a round of tapping.
4. After this round of tapping, GUESS again and go around the room asking them to state their new number.
5. Additional rounds of EFT, usually a total of 3 or 4 rounds, will bring just about everyone down to GUESSES of 0 to 3.
6. Once everyone is down to acceptably low GUESSES, then perform another round of tapping and, after this round, you will vividly imagine the incident.

When Should You Do EFT?

Goal SettingYou can do it:

1. As soon as you wake up
2. Before every meal
3. Every time you go to the bathroom
4. When stopped at stoplights
5. When you go to bed

Your Consistent Thoughts Become Your Reality
All personal growth reduces down to the above sentence. Dreams don't necessarily come true but they DO take you in directions.
Your habitual vocabulary has a subtle and powerful ability to condition your mental system. Which is a better statement, "I can't" or "I don't know how yet"? Shifting your vocabulary will shift your entire outlook.
You get what you focus on. Pessimists see what is wrong in the world. Optimists see opportunity. Yet, it's the same world. What do you see? Whatever it is, it's a reflection of your consistent thoughts.